My Kooky World

A look into the mind of a GF Mom with too many opinions

Confronting the Image in the Mirror... and in My Mind

August 23
by Rachel 23. August 2012 01:41

I'm not happy with my body at this point in my life. I've always been somewhat ambivalent about my appearance, but always felt that when I tried, I could look great. My weight has always fluctuated and I've almost always been oblivious. When I put on a few extra pounds. I didn't notice till after I lost those “extra pounds”. I used to be able to joke about not being super skinny and would refer to extra weight as “excess skinny” but I was always happy with myself.

Now I'm having some serious self image issues. I feel hideous on a fairly regular basis. I want to cry when I get dressed, or try on clothes. I feel I've got what is commonly referred to as “mom body”. I've got the exaggerated stomach pooch after having a couple of kids and my arms...Well, lets just say I'm growing wings. I used to be an hour glass now I'm more of a cheese log on toothpicks. Cellulite in all sorts of places where I'd rather it weren't. Occasionally I'll get “dolled up” and I'll leave the house feeling great but then I'll catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window or see myself in a bathroom mirror and it's not the same image I saw when I was getting ready. The one I see once I'm out, makes me want to run home and cry. I hate it. I used to be confident in my appearance. Now I just can't seem to shake this bad self image no matter what I do or how many compliments my Fiancé gives me.

I want to work out. I want to get back my body, but I've never really been a big exercise routine person. Well, that's not true. I just never have kept it up for too terribly long. I used to go out dancing and that helped keep me in shape. Now, with my health declining and the kids wearing me out I just don't have the time or energy for either.

So I'm going to try something different. I haven't been been taking care of myself very well. After being told by one to many people that I need to do so. I'm going to start taking Hot Yoga classes. Once a week in the evening I'm going to take some "me time" and take care of myself. So I can better take care of others. I may even extend it to morning classes on the weekend, while everyone else sleeps. Hopefully the calming stretching and detoxifying heat will help with a lot of things that have been ailing me. Hopefully my mind, body, spirit, and self image will benefit from the experience

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Self Esteem

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About the author

Almost 30 GF mother of 3(2girls and a Stepson) with Edometriosis, Celiac Disease, and Anemia. Quirky and off beat, full of opinions. Loves to cook, craft, play and have fun.

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