I haven’t posted in a while. So seeing as it is the day after Gay Pride I thought I’d write a little about my personal sexuality, my gender identity and how it all contributes to my feminist views. As well as my philosophy on love, life and discrimination. I never really did the whole coming out thing so I guess this is it in a way.
Let’s start with the easiest; which unfortunately isn’t always easy for others, Sexuality. Out of all the flavors available out there, I identify most with Pansexuality. The basic idea is you fall in love with people regardless of their gender identity or sexuality. You do not limit yourself to a set group of individual types or gender specifics. In short: hearts, not parts.
This way has been my view for as long as I can remember; before I could put a name to it, or there was a name for. It I never understood why you had to choose. Why you would want to limit your heart? I fall in love with individuals for who they are not what they are. The scope of life and individuals and how they chose to live their lives is so vast. I happened to fall love completely I just never saw the logic of narrowing the field to just one option. What if the person who fits me best was eliminated by my choice?…So I never chose… and never will. I happen to have fallen in love with a wonderful man and married him. So I have the privileges of being seen by most as heterosexual, and get none of the hardships of living an LGBT lifestyle…until I open my mouth that is.
Gender identity… this one is hard. Now that we understand that there are more options than binary, it opens up all kinds of options. For years I laughingly described myself as “a dude with tits… without the excess equipment”. My mentality tends to lean to the masculine side but I am also highly emotional and love to wear make-up and do many typically girly things. I would like to identify as gender fluid. Sometimes I’m more one aspect. Sometimes I’m the other. Most times I’m a blend of both. It’s really hard to explain in detail. I for a long time just thought the way I am is the norm; but after having several conversations with transgendered friends I realize, while yes lots of people feel this way it’s not necessarily the norm. I feel gender fluid is the best category to explain my gender identity, but still not quite right.
Now many out there have this mentality that putting labels on things dehumanizes us and causes problems. I disagree. Having categories and names allows us to not only identify and understand our selves but gives us a way to try to better understand each other. Unfortunately, yes, it does also give others a way to say “that’s different so it’s bad”.
I feel the way to change discrimination based on differences is not to ignore the differences or pretend we are all exactly the same; but to embrace the fact that we are all different. No two person are exactly the same. It’s our differences that make us human, and special. We are special unique snowflakes every one of us. That doesn’t give us a reason to be superior. It gives us reasons to be sympathetic. If you choose to hate based on your differences then you will only end up hating everyone.
No one’s perceptions of the world is even the same. Take for instance the color blue. Now because of how my brain is wired and the color receptors in my eyes, the shade and hue of blue that I see will not be the same as it is for anyone else. This for me is a perfect metaphor for life. Now think about people who are color blind. It just adds another layer of how completely unalike we all are…even down to the smallest of details. This makes true equality almost impossible. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. When it comes to rights and kindness EVERYONE should be treated exactly the same. When it comes to special treatment it should be on the basis of need. Whether you work for it, can’t get by without it, or have been systematically oppressed by our biased system for years (if not centuries) and thus need extra assistance to put you on equal footing with those who have always had basic rights and privileges.
As a non-binary gender and sexuality I am not exactly the same as everyone. I never was, and I never will be. I was born a woman and identify in a large part as a woman. So I am a feminist. Why?… because I am intimately aware of how gender bias has affected my life. I am treated differently as a female. Not in the sense of an individual, but solely based on the fact that I am perceived as female… and thus less–than. If not on a large scale, in a million tiny ways each day. That is not a healthy way for a society to function.
My feminist manifesto, so to speak: equality through individuality. Do not judge me solely by your perception of me, but as a human. Treat me with decency and respect because yes we are all human. Form your opinion of me my capabilities my short coming and faults based on what I prove to be true about myself. I am worthy of consideration regardless of my gender.
Until that is a reality; yes, we still need activism, protests, riots, and parades. We still need to fight. While yes strides have been made, we are not at an end point in anyway. Our society does not follow the humanist ideal. So even if you are a “humanist” who believes all people should be treated equally. You should be able to look around at your fellow humans and see that the world needs work in many areas.